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Part 1: The Victim’s Voice

TRIGGER WARNING

National sexual assault hotline:

1 800-656-4673

I’m dedicating this post, and a few others to the stories of survivors of sexual assault.

I’ve had numerous people reach out to me after a post I made on my social media (I’ll attach that as well). They have been brave enough and taken a step out to share these stories of their sexual assault, in hopes that it helps someone else.

Names have been changed or taken out to protect them.

These women and men are from all different backgrounds, age groups, ethnicities, and sexual orientations. Some of them know each other, some of them don’t. One of the stories told, is from the wife of a rapist in one of the other stories from another victim. These things don’t happen to one set group of people. They happen to everyone. Everyday. And it’s happened forever.

Facebook post:

There is a post going around about a rapist we went to high school with. He pleaded guilty to raping four women and people are saying they are “shocked”, “floored” and “can’t believe it”.
You know what this makes me want to do?
CALL OUT ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO MADE ME OR ANYONE ELSE IN HIGHSCHOOL A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ABUSE!
I remember you. I didn’t forget that time I had to ride the bus to your house and you locked me in your bedroom and your brother had to come stop you.
I remember you. When the coach lied and said you were with him the night you raped my friend.
I remember you. When you pulled me into the ymca bathroom and said I went in willfully.
I remember you. At the party with the girl who had a few too many drinks, when you and your friends were having your way and bragging about it the next day.
I remember the comments. I remember almost getting beat up by your girlfriend who thought I had done something with you by choice.
I remember when you told everyone what a slut a girl was after YOU took advantage of her. Yet you were the “king of the school”, the star athlete, Mr. Popular. You had no remorse then, and probably not now. Most of the people I’ve mentioned have a great life, wives, kids, jobs. I’m glad for them. But I hope they never forget. I hope they play it over and over in their heads for the rest of their life’s, like I’ve had to, and like others I know have had to.
I can name 5 people right now that I am referring to.
Don’t get your panties in a wad, I’ll keep my mouth shut with the names. I have for YEARS but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten or forgiven. And I hope no one else has either.
I don’t know this individual in the article well, and I’m happy when people see the best in others, but don’t be shocked when these people’s skeletons come falling out of their closets.
THESE ARE PEOPLE YOU WERE FRIENDS WITH. THESE ARE THE PEOPLE YOU CHEERED FOR AT THE GAMES. THESE ARE THE PEOPLE YOU ATE LUNCH WITH.
Don’t be so shocked. Be MAD.

1: I was sexually abused every day. The abuse spanned 4 years. He was a teenage neighbor. I was 9 when it started. When the abuse started to escalate, he would watch from his porch to see when my parents would leave for work. He took my innocence. I didnt get to chose a romantic honeymoon, or the backseat of a Camaro on prom night. No, I had barely hit puberty. My family still to this day does not know. I dont know if I will ever break my silence.

2: I dated a guy in high school who was 3 years older than me. I was 13 and a flirt. So that’s what he called me. He drove and we went to the skating rink one night. The skating rink was 1hr away. He was taking me home and pulled up on a rail road track that was abandoned. We where in a monte carlo. He started kissing me and decided to pick me up and put me on his lap. Now this is back in the late 80’s I had on some shorts that were above my belly button with big legs in them. I told him I wanted to go home. That’s when he started getting rough and told me I was just a tease and to shut up. The steering wheel was behind me and he put my arms behind me into the steering wheel and was forcing his penis up my short leg. I tried fighting him but he got it inside me. I was in so much pain I couldn’t move. I finally said to him to let my arms loose I wanted it as much as he did. When he loosened up I jumped out the window and ran until I couldn’t anymore. I finally made it home, got into the shower and cried as I washed the blood off my legs. I was a virgin and believed it was my fault all my life until I was in my 30’s because I was a flirt. That’s my story.

3: I am among the many, sadly. Unfortunately in my family when you told someone that it was happening to you and it was from someone in the family they wanted you to keep quiet about it. I told plenty of people that my dad was doing things to us and no one was surprised but nothing got done about it.
I had an uncle who used my hand to masturbate with, while I had spent the night and slept with them. I just pretended that I was asleep. I was maybe 10 years old. I just didn’t know what to do. And I didn’t tell anyone until I was an adult.
The manager at the skating rink would always get me in his office and kiss and finger me , why I let him I have no idea. But looking back I was maybe 12 or 13 and he was probably 25-30 ? So as an adult I see how wrong it was.
My family unfortunately has an overwhelming amount of sexual abuse within the family. It’s like it’s some sick kind of normal so people just shake their heads and go on as if you told them that they cussed you out rather than sexually molested you.

4: I was 13 and had to ride the bus home with a friend one day until my mom could pick me up. His older brother locked me in his bedroom and forced himself on me. I screamed for my friend and he came and stopped it before it got any further. He ended up getting beat up by his brother and we were both sworn to secrecy. I never told my mom and me and my friend have never spoken of it again.

5: I was 18 before I ever told my mom and my dad just now found out and I’m 33 now but I won’t forget what my older cousin did to me when I was a child (Age 4) and what the babysitter husband (at the time) did for the longest time(Ages 9-12). I blamed myself for what happened but I know that I was a child and they were adults and they were wrong for hurting me and they both should have STOPPED when I said NO , PLEASE STOP. One of them is now in prison for doing it to his own child.

6: I was 3 years old the first time he (an adult male in his early 40’s at the time) sexually molested me. He was/is a member of my moms church and her best friends husband. Nothing was ever done legally because it was “gods place to judge” so he went on to molest at least 4 more girls who were my friends. They were all under the age of 10. There was probably more honestly. Nothing was ever reported. It was swept under the rug. My parents continued to hang out with these people on a regular basis and still do. When it was told to me that he would be working some with the youth of the church I went to the new pastor and every single parent with a child in that church and told my story. Some didnt believe me…thats fine. It was off my concious and the pastor did believe me and did not put him in that position.

I was raped when I was 15, to a boy who I was talking to. I was a virgin. I begged him to stop. He didn’t. I ended up having to stay in the hospital due to extensive injuries.

At 17 I became pregnant with my would be husband’s child. He was a sweet boy whom I had grown up with. We married. I watched him slowly turn into a monster. He would sexually assault me multiple times a day until I finally stopped fighting. After our 3rd child was born, the day I was released from the hospital he held me down and raped me. Effectively ripping my stitches out and causing me to hemmorage. I was back in the hospital. The religion I was raised in told me it wasnt rape because we were married. It took him shooting at me with out newborn in my arms before I left.

I suspect the damage done played a part in the 5 miscarriages/still born babies I have had.

7: One night my parents went out and asked my moms stepdad to watch me and my siblings. He did and i got my feelings hurt and went to him. He told me to lay down with him and i did. He touched me with his fingers and it hurt really bad. I never told anybody that night and it continued for about a couple years. That happen when i was about 8 or 9 and im now 17 and still havent told anybody. Some nights it pops in my head and i start crying. This is my first time telling anybody.

Part 2 to follow.

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